Dickin' Around

by The Grrrl

Title: Dickin' Around

Author: The Grrrl

Author's email: thegrrrl2002@gmail.com

Author's URL: http://thegrrrl2002.slashcity.org/

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Rating: NC-17

Season/Spoilers: Minor spoilers for 7.14 "Fallout"

Summary: See title.

Notes: Just a quick bit of post–7.14 "Fallout" silliness. Because how I can resist Jack saying "dickin' around"? A special thanks to Oceana, who inspired certain aspects of this fic. She gets full credit for the term "girly pink."

A blast of warm air greeted Daniel as he opened the back door. Stepping into the brightly lit kitchen, he caught only a tantalizing glimpse of Jack in faded jeans and green flannel before his glasses fogged over. "Damn it," he said, sliding his glasses off and throwing them down on the table. "Froze my ass off out there. When did it get so cold out?"

"Hey," Jack greeted him. "Like maybe you should think about wearing a warmer coat?"

Daniel unzipped and shrugged his jacket off. "Didn't think I'd end up parking three blocks away. I'm freezing my ass off being discreet for you, you know." He turned to find himself in Jack's welcoming arms. Taking full advantage of Jack's hug, he leaned against Jack's body, burying his face in Jack's neck to warm his cold nose and icy cheeks.

Jack yelped. "Jeeze, Daniel, why don't you—hey, what's with the hands?"

Despite Jack's struggles, Daniel managed to work his hands under the soft cotton shirt, laying them directly on Jack's bare skin. "Much better," Daniel said with one last shiver. He fondled Jack's nicely muscled back. "Much, much better."

"Yeah, for who?" Jack grumbled, but then kissed the side of Daniel's head and ruffled his hair.

"It's what you deserve, and then some," Daniel told him. His hands were growing warmer, tingling now. He spread his fingers out, palms flat against Jack's back. "Especially after the last couple of days—bailing out on me like that, leaving me with those obnoxious Kelownans, thank you very much. And 'dicking around'? I can't believe you said that in front of them. And the general, you—you dick, you."

Jack grinned at him. "It was just what they were doing and you know it."

"Plus the poking. I could barely keep a straight face as it was," Daniel continued. Not to mention that his dick had shown an unreasonable amount of interest in Jack's remark. Dicking around, indeed. "I'm sure the general would have appreciated my laughing out loud. Even if the Kelownans are the most irritating people in the entire galaxy."

"Hell yeah. They deserved to have us laughing in their faces. I don't know why we let them through the friggin' gate in the first place," Jack told him. " But it worked, didn't it? They stopped their dickin' around, right?" Jack said, enunciating the words as he poked Daniel's chest this time.

"I suppose," Daniel conceded. It didn't bother him at all that Jack had stepped in and more or less succeeded where he had failed. Not one bit. And his dick wasn't twitching for any particular reason, either.

"Another lesson from the Jack O'Neill School of Diplomacy," Jack announced proudly. He patted Daniel's shoulder. "Stick with me, kid, and I'll show you how it's done."

Daniel groaned and shook his head. "Oh, please."

"Anytime. And now you may show your appreciation for me in the bedroom," Jack added, his hands moving along the curve of Daniel's ass.

"Oh, may I?" Daniel asked, warmth rolling through his gut, in spite of himself. "How big of you."

"Yes," Jack said solemnly, pressing his groin against Daniel's thigh. "Big. Very big."

Daniel stared at Jack, brows raised in a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

Jack stared back, eternally unrepentant.

Daniel relented, kissing Jack's undiplomatic mouth. That Jack could aggravate the hell out of him while being so utterly irresistible would always be, for Daniel, one of the grand mysteries of the universe. One that he was happy to explore as often and as thoroughly as possible. "Come on," he said, grasping Jack by the shirt collar. "Let's go do some dickin' around."

"My dick's all for it," Jack said over his shoulder as Daniel pushed him toward the bedroom. "Nothing like some dickin' around, I always say."

"And you would know, being the biggest dick of all."

"I'd like to think so. Not that size matters, of course," Jack continued as they crossed the livingroom. "You know, it ain't the meat, it's the motion, but still, when it comes to dickin' around, I like to know that—"

When they reached the bedroom, Daniel pulled Jack into his arms, kissing him soundly, his tried and true method for shutting Jack up. It was effective, reducing Jack to a series of happy little grunts as he ran his hands over Daniel's shoulders and chest. He tugged at Daniel's shirt, and Daniel backed off and pulled it over his head, enjoying Jack's smile of appreciation. Daniel didn't stop there, he continued undressing, tugging off his pants, and briefs in rapid succession. He sat on the bed as he flung his socks off, not thinking or caring anymore about the cold night air, his long walk, or the endless hours at the briefing room table with the Kelownans. Because in the long run, none of that mattered. Only that smug grin on Jack's face, the anticipation of what they were going to do next was truly important. He scooted back on the bed, leaning on his arms, legs splayed, his dick full and heavy against his thigh.

"Come on, Jack, why aren't you naked yet?" Daniel asked, cradling his dick in his hands, stroking it with his thumbs. He watched Jack unbutton his shirt. "Having trouble working your way around that big dick?"

Jack pulled his shirt off, revealing his broad, hairy chest. "Impatient, ain't you?"

By way of response Daniel kicked the blankets off the bed, clearing a place for Jack. "Get your ass in bed, now, you dick," he growled.

Jack unzipped his pants, pushed them down over narrow hips, exposing wildly curling grey pubic hair. "Or should it be 'get your dick in bed now, you ass?"

Daniel glared. "Get. In. Bed."

Jack finished undressing, and then stood in all his naked glory, arms akimbo, cock jutting proudly. "Are you sure?" Jack asked.

Daniel decided that when it came to annoying, the Kelownans had nothing over Jack. Maybe that was why Jack's approach had been so effective. But he knew how to be effective, too. He reached out, closing his hand around Jack's forearm and yanked him down onto the bed. "Dick," Daniel stated, just being he was starting to like the sound of the word.

Jack fell onto the bed, nearly in his lap. "Oh yeah, dick. Nice dick." he said, staring at Daniel's crotch. He pushed Daniel's legs apart, settling in between them. They faced each another, chest to chest, dick to dick. Jack took one in each hand, squeezing, pushing them together. "Dicks, plural."

"Yup, two of 'em," Daniel said, sliding his legs under Jack's, inching closer. He sighed with delight as those legs gripped his waist, all lean muscle and bony knees, feet tucked behind Daniel's back. Daniel loved this, loved to have Jack's lanky body tangled up with his, loved Jack touching him. He stroked Jack's thighs, then his hands drifted up along Jack's long, luscious torso. Oh yes, this was what he needed. Closing his eyes, heart pounding with anticipation, he waited for Jack to get down to business.

Except that Jack wasn't. Jack was fiddling around, hands busy, but with what, Daniel couldn't tell. "Jack," Daniel complained, aroused and annoyed. He nuzzled Jack's face, angling for a kiss while sliding a hand down Jack's arms, hoping to move the action along.

Jack shooed Daniel's hands aside. "Daniel, wait. Hold still a second," he said, ducking away from Daniel's kiss.

"What?" Daniel blinked, coming out of his sensual haze. "Jack? What the fuck are you doing?" He looked down to see Jack holding their cocks together, lined up right up against one another.

"Just checking something," Jack told him. "Be done in a minute."

"Checking?" Daniel blinked, then realization dawned. "Oh, for god's sake, Jack—"

"Just wanted to know if I really was the biggest dick." Jack cupped his hands around both cocks, brow furrowed as he arranged them carefully, his touch just on the edge of being stimulating, but not quite.

Daniel closed his eyes, groaning in frustration. "You are, okay? You're huge. Massive. We're talking porn star territory here. Now can we just get on with it?"

"Huh. Actually," Jack said, his voice quiet, "you're a little bigger."

Daniel's eyes flew open. "Really?" He tilted his head to one side, leaning back for a better angle. He eyed the two cocks, nestled against each other within the circle of Jack's fingers. It was clear that the broad, flat head of his cock was slightly above Jack's. "Hey, you're right," Daniel said, pleased. "Mine is bigger."

"Wait, I don't think they're positioned right." Jack shifted, pulling his knees up higher, poking Daniel in the side with his heel.

"Ow—no, no, that's cheating," Daniel said, slapping Jack's thigh. "Stop moving your hips." He rested his forehead on Jack's shoulder for a bird's eye view. He liked the way their cocks looked, undersides pressed together as they rested against Jack's big square palm. Their sacs were squashed together, too, wiry gray curls mingling with Daniel's darker ones, all of it framed by Jack's pale thighs.

"I think mine is wider—yours gets narrow, right along right along here," Jack said, touching his finger the area just below the head of Daniel's cock. "We really need to compare mass, not length."

"Mmm. No, no, I don't see it. Face it, I'm bigger, " Daniel told him. He caressed Jack's biceps reassuringly. "But if you makes you feel any better, your balls are bigger."

"Well, yeah," Jack told him, his tone indicating he was stating the obvious. "I'm in bed with you, aren't I?"

Daniel snorted, then asked, "You know, Jack, your dick, is it always that pink?"

"Pink? That is so not pink," Jack protested, removing his hand so that both dicks rested against his thigh. "Red. It's red."

"Jack, this is red," Daniel said, pointing to his own dark cock. "This—" he held Jack's cock, its hard length slipping through his fingers, "is pink. A very pretty pink, actually."

"No way," Jack said emphatically. "For crying out loud, it's red, Daniel. Red."

Daniel ignored Jack's protests as he reached for the oil. It was time to take matters into his own hands. "Almost a girly pink," he couldn't resist adding as he flipped the cap open. He poured oil onto Jack's pretty pink cock, wondering how he never noticed the color before. Smoothing the oil with his palm, he rubbed Jack's dick until it was slippery and shiny and very, very pink. Jack moaned and Daniel kissed his open mouth, swallowing the soft noises.

"Pink," Daniel insisted, nipping at Jack's lower lip. "Just like your nipples. A rosy pink." He caressed Jack's chest, then pressed his thumb against one perky pink nipple, all the while sliding his fist over Jack's cock.

"Whuh? Pink? Oh—no way. Really?" Jack hung his head, eyeing his own chest. "I'm telling you, they're red. A light, but manly shade of red," he insisted, his voice growing strained.

Daniel licked his ear. "Of course, Jack. Very manly," he added in a whisper.

"You're such a dick," Jack told him. "Oh shit, that's good." He held onto Daniel's shoulders, eyes closed, thrusting into Daniel's hand. "Don't stop."

"A very big dick, don't forget. And you started it." Jack's cock surged in his hand, and Jack's fingers tightened, digging into Daniel's shoulders. "You're such an ass," Daniel told him.

"Uh huh," Jack panted.

"I have no idea why I love you," Daniel added, kissing his cheek.

"Because—because I'm an irresistible ass and you know it."

Daniel did know it. "Speaking of asses," he started, placing his hand flat against Jack's chest and shoving hard. "And irresistible—"

Jack lay back eagerly, unwinding his legs from around Daniel's waist and spreading them wide open. "Oh yeah, baby, you gonna fuck me with that great big dick of yours?"

Daniel sat back on his haunches. "Gonna give you just what you deserve," he told Jack, grinning. He grabbed the oil again, pouring it onto Jack's dick, his balls, his ass. He was spilling it freely, heedless of the mess he was creating. Because Jack looked damn good with oil dripping down and around his balls, pooling in the crease where hip met thigh.

"Ooooh, just ram it on home, Long Dong Daniel," Jack moaned theatrically, pulling his knees to his chest. "Gimme some of that red meat."

Daniel slapped Jack's hip, laughing. "Longer dong than you. And you'll get it when I'm damn good and ready." He gently massaged Jack's sacs, moving them in his hands, soft and vulnerable.

"Nice," Jack sighed as he stretched, arms over his head, muscles flexing. He hooked a foot over Daniel's shoulder. "Now do me, baby."

Daniel moved his fingers across the perineum to Jack's ass, pausing at the opening, circling before penetrating Jack with a single finger, plunging deep inside the white-hot space. "Like this?"

Jack moaned, clutching at a crumpled sheet. "Oh, fuck," he said in a low voice.

"Almost—just have to make sure there's room for my great big dick," Daniel told him as he easily slipped another finger in. "Although, you are the biggest ass." His own dick was hard and throbbing and more than ready to get moving, and seeing Jack like that, his face hungry and desperate didn't help matters any.

"Fuck," Jack blurted out as Daniel wiggled his fingers around. "You gonna fuck me or what?" He jammed his ass down on Daniel's hand. "Daniel—"

Daniel squeezed Jack's cock. "Say the magic word, Mr. Diplomat."

"Fuck," muttered Jack.

"That's not it," Daniel told him as he grabbed a pillow and slid it under Jack's ass. He leaned over Jack, his cock pushing against Jack's slick thighs. "Come on now, you can do it," he teased, ducking his head to kiss Jack's frustrated mouth.

Jack ran his hands along Daniel's arms, palms slick with sweat. "All right. Please?" he asked politely, pulling Daniel's face down for another kiss, hands cupping Daniel's head. "Pretty please, Daniel?"

"Sweet, Jack," Daniel said, turning his head to nuzzle Jack's palm. "Very sweet. I'm impressed."

"Good. Now get a move on." Jack wriggled his hips under Daniel, creating all kinds of wonderful sensations; enough that Daniel decided he was done with teasing. For the moment, at least.

With one last kiss Daniel sat back, readied himself and then lined his cock right up against Jack's wonderfully furred ass. He pushed, penetrating, and then gliding in with ease. It was always such a shock to him, each and every time, sinking into all that heat and pressure. His head spun, his breath caught in his throat and it was only with great effort that he managed to keep things slow and steady, smoothly moving his cock in and out of Jack's body.

Soon Jack began to whimper, his hips jerking, rising to meet Daniel's thrusts.

"Oh, you don't say?" Daniel panted, his hips moving faster, picking up speed of their own accord.

Groaning, Jack nodded, eyes closed. "So good," he sighed, both legs on Daniel's shoulders now, pretty cock lying thick and full on his stomach.

"Hey," Daniel said, wrapping his fingers around it. "Your dick isn't pink anymore. What do you think? Red, now. Very red," he said breathlessly. He gave it one long slow pump of his fist, squeezing hard.

"Fuck yeah. Manly," Jack said, gasping. "Told you."

"Feels bigger now, too. Always swells just before you come," He curled his fingers around the head of Jack's dick, very red now, running his thumb along the underside. "Want me to check? I can get ruler," he offered. He stilled his hips, stopping his thrusts, even though he trembled from the effort, because he could, because this was Jack, damn it, and he loved teasing Jack.

"Shit, Daniel—" Jack gasped, sitting up halfway, eyes pleading.

"What?" Daniel gripped the base of Jack's cock firmly, slowly pulling his fist up the hard shaft, feeling it pulse in his hand. "Stop dickin' around? Or dick around harder?" he asked, trying yet failing to keep his voice steady.

Jack fell back. "Fuck—aw, Daniel, just let me—come on—I have to come now, I do, I really really do." Jack's voice was raw, and it went straight to Daniel's dick.

"Yeah, well, since you asked so nice," Daniel said, his hand working Jack's dick while he plunged over and over again into Jack's ass. He shifted angles, trying for deeper penetration, triggering a startled groan from Jack.

Daniel could feel Jack's body straining against his, muscles clenching around Daniel's cock, hands gripping the pillow beneath him. Daniel knew he was doing it right, knew Jack was close, so close to coming. Jack suddenly dug his heels into the mattress, shoving his hips up, and with a howl he came. Daniel experienced it right with him, hot liquid filling his hand, Jack's muscles rippling powerfully around his cock, Jack's sweaty face contorted in ecstasy.

So beautiful, Daniel thought as he thrust into that hot, tight space. He was so filled with love and affection for Jack. Because Jack could be so damn ridiculous, because Jack always offered up his body up with such wild abandon, because Jack poked him during important meetings, because Jack was irreverent and maddening, because Jack watched Daniel with gentle eyes that said everything that he couldn't put into words. Daniel loved him beyond all rational thought and he suspected he might just explode from the sheer joy of loving him.

At last he did explode, coming fast and hard, sensations slamming through him as he clutched desperately at Jack's hips, sweaty skin slipping through his fingers. "Oh god, oh Jack, oh god," he babbled, eyes screwed shut, head back, trying to catch his breath as his body rocked with pleasure.

With the last remaining echoes fading from his body, Daniel slowly came back down to earth, releasing his grip on Jack's body, allowing Jack's legs to fall from his shoulders. His dick, not quite so big anymore, slipped from its warm, snug resting place. When Daniel opened his eyes he found Jack watching him, arms tucked behind his head, lips curling into a lazy, satisfied smile. Daniel slowly stretched himself out over Jack's body, needing to kiss that smile, because, after all, it was his; he put it there in the first place.

Jack held him close throughout the long, sloppy kiss, his arms sweeping over Daniel's slick body. "Yeah," Jack sighed contentedly. "Nice dickin' around."

Daniel rolled to one side, his head on Jack's chest, feeling exhausted and happy and utterly content. "Yeah," he nodded, ready for a prolonged, luxurious nap, snuggled against Jack's body. His body grew limp, eyelids heavy. Daniel thought maybe he'd never move again. He'd stay there forever, eyes half-closed, sprawled half over Jack, listening to Jack breathe, feeling Jack's heartbeat against his cheek.

But Jack shifted restlessly, and Daniel's head fell onto the mattress with a thud. "Jack," he mumbled.

"Hey, Daniel" Jack said, patting Daniel's hip, "Come on. Can't sleep yet, I'm hungry. Aren't you hungry? Let's order in."

Jack bounced out of bed with, Daniel thought, far too much damn energy for a man his age. "And I know I have that tape measure around here somewhere," Jack continued. "In case we do more dickin' around later. I still want to work out that mass thing." He frowned. "I'll bet there's a formula we can use."

Daniel shook his head. "Ass."

"No, dick," Jack countered, wiping his stomach clean.

"Whatever—Damn it, Jack, that's my shirt you're using," Daniel complained, rolling onto his back. "And can't we just nap for a little while? How can you be hungry already? What is with you?"

Jack leaned over the bed and kissed Daniel. "I love you," he said, as if it was the answer to everything.

And it was.

Stargate SG-1 (including all characters and images) is the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred. This is a nonprofit fan site.

The Grrrl's site is maintained by The Grrrl