Not a Love Song

by The Grrrl

Title: Not a Love Song

Author: The Grrrl

Author's email: thegrrrl2002@gmail.com

Author's URL: http://thegrrrl2002.slashcity.org/

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Pairing: Sheppard/McKay

Summary: "I'm not gay, all right?" John announced, dropping his tray on the table with a thud.

Notes: Written for the mcshep_match challenge (Yay Team Romance!). My prompt was "Famous Last Words". A big thank you to chelle for all her help and support.

John came to a halt on the gateroom stairs when he heard Elizabeth calling out his name. He spun around to greet her. "Elizabeth?"

"Have you checked your email?" Elizabeth grinned as she spoke.

Immediately intrigued, John answered, "Nope, not lately. Why, good news from the SGC?"

She trotted up the stairs ahead of him and waved him into her office. "No, more like from the government."

Her tone was lilting, as if teasing and John couldn't imagine what news could be. He wasn't due for another promotion. Maybe they had increased the military contingent in the city? Or were sending over some fun new defense technology? Although, if that were the case, Rodney would surely have known about it, and if Rodney had known, he would have blurted it out, right?

"Here." Elizabeth opened her laptop and turned to it face John, then sat with her hands clasped in front of her, watching as he read.

"US Code 10.654 is repealed," John said, bending forward to get a closer look at the screen. "The prohibition against homosexual conduct is hereby rescinded...oh."

"Uh huh." Elizabeth nodded.

John raised his eyebrows. "Wow. It's about damn time. Always thought it was a ridiculous bit of bigotry. Pretty damn embarrassing, actually, given the international crew we serve with."

He glanced up to see that Elizabeth was sort of...beaming at him. "I thought you'd be happy to see that." She tilted her head to one side, expectant.

"Yeah. It's great. I'll pass along the news, make sure personnel are aware of it."

Elizabeth rose from her chair and came around the desk to stand beside him. She still had that mysterious smile on her lips. She further startled John by patting him on the back. "You do that, Colonel."

As John left the gateroom, Chuck flashed him a huge smile.

***

Things grew even stranger when John bumped into Cadman in the hall.

"Hiya, Colonel." She was dressed in tights and a tank top, blond hair in a ponytail.

"Lieutenant," he said. "Heading out for a run?"

"Yup." Cadman nodded, ponytail bouncing. "Thought I'd try the west pier this time."

"Have fun. By the way, I reviewed your suggestions for the advanced munitions training. Excellent work. I'm going pass it along to the SGC." John liked Cadman. She was smart, and he wanted to make sure his superiors knew it.

"Cool. Thanks." Cadman looked pleased as she waved her hand over the transporter control, opening the doors. Before stepping into the chamber she paused to whisper, "Hey--McKay is down in Lab B this morning. Just so you know."

With a salacious wag of her brows she stepped inside, disappearing from view as the doors closed.

***

He was still puzzling over Cadman's behavior--he wasn't looking for Rodney, at least not at the moment -- when he ran into Teyla.

"I heard the news from the SGC." Teyla smiled serenely and placed a gentle hand on John's shoulder.

"Um, yeah?" John wasn't sure why Teyla would be interested, or even be aware of the change in policy. "You have?"

"You and Dr. McKay must be greatly relieved."

"Yes, it's very good--what?" John stared. It all became painfully, frighteningly clear. "Rodney? Me and Rodney? No, Teyla, we aren't--"

Teyla nodded, her expression sympathetic. "Considering what I've heard of your culture, I can understand still wishing to keep your a relationship a secret. However, you should know that among our people, no one would raise an eyebrow. And the people here, in this city, your people--they respect and care for you." She squeezed John's shoulder. "Do not be afraid."

And before John could summon up any more words of denial, she left.

***

Rodney. Him and Rodney--doing things. Together. That's what Elizabeth, Cadman and Teyla had been thinking and it didn't make any sense at all. They obviously suffered from over-active imagination, because he and Rodney were friends, that was all. Friends who watched movies together, played chess, went whale-watching, okay sure, ate dinner together most of the time--none of it was unusual. Just typical stuff that friends do together.

But as John strolled through the city, everyone he passed made a point of meeting his eyes and smiling happily. Scientists, soldiers, even one large, scary-looking marine with shoulders the width of a football field grinned and gave him the thumbs up.

John gave him a tight smile and nodded in return. It wasn't just Elizabeth, Cadman and Teyla, he realized with a sinking feeling. It was everyone.

By the time he reached the mess, his shoulders were tense and he studiously avoided eye contact. He loaded up his tray, wondering if he should just go back to his room to eat but he made the mistake of looking up and catching Elizabeth's eye. She was sitting with Lorne and Ronon, who immediately waved him over.

"Hey, Sheppard--" Ronon said, teeth flashing in a wide grin.

"I'm not gay, all right?" John announced, dropping his tray on the table with a thud. He wished everyone would just stop smiling. "I'm not gay, and neither is Rodney. At least I don't think Rodney is. But I just want to make it clear--Rodney and I are not involved in any way. We're friends, of course, so we're involved like that--but that's besides the point. Rodney and I are not a couple. Period. Okay?"

Maybe he spoke a little louder than he had intended, either that or the cafeteria got a lot quieter because by time he was done his voice was echoing throughout the room and all eyes were on him.

He sat down quickly.

"Sure," Ronon said easily, nodding in a way that made it obvious he didn't believe a word John said.

"Of course not, Colonel," Lorne added. He was doing a funny thing with his mouth, like he was trying to hold his lips in a straight line when they didn't want to be. Meanwhile, Elizabeth was staring down at her tray, rubbing her nose and generally hiding her face.

"Um," John said, his face growing hot. This was ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. "You know what? I just remember I need to go and, um..." He stopped himself before he finished with 'talk with Rodney'.

No sense in adding fuel to the fire.

He grabbed the sandwich from his tray and forced himself to stroll casually from mess, ignoring the whispers in his wake.

***

Rodney brightened when John entered the lab. John was briefly concerned--surely Rodney knew they weren't dating. But to his relief Rodney only motioned him over and announced, "They said it couldn't be done, and yet--guess how much I increased the power flux to."

John squinted at the monitor. "Seventy five percent?"

"Oh, no fair." Rodney closed the lap top and glared. "Yes, seventy five percent."

"Cool," John said.

"Isn't it?" Rodney perked back up again. "Hey, is that sandwich for me?"

John tossed the packaged sandwich on the desk. "Sure. What power flux are we talking about again?"

"The flow between the shield generators. This way, if one is taken out? The others can compensate." Rodney rocked on his heels, practically glowing with delight.

John raised his brows. "Oh, that really is cool."

Rodney nodded happily.

Radek was working on the other side of the lab, but John could see the grin on his face. Along with Coleman, Becker and Santiago and damn it, the grinning and the smiling was getting really, really old. He leaned in close to Rodney and whispered, "I need to talk to you. In private."

Rodney was watching the monitor, still beaming at his results. "Sure," he said absently.

"Today," John whispered, loudly this time. With a hand to the small of Rodney's back, John pried Rodney away from his fabulous results. He was guiding Rodney toward the door when he caught Coleman nudging Santiago with her elbow. John scowled at them both, which only seemed to amused them further.

"It will also reduce the drain on the ZPM," Rodney said as they stepped into the corridor. "Probably not enough to be significant, but every little bit helps, you know? Where are we going, by the way?"

"Here," John said, heading for the nearest balcony. Rodney followed, still chattering about energy flow. John made agreeable noises and then they were on the balcony looking out at the ocean, warm sun at their backs.

"So?" Rodney asked. "What's so important that you had to drag me away from my work?" He spoke without rancor and seemed genuinely curious.

"Rodney," John said, then stopped, realizing that he had no idea what to say. He wasn't sure why it was so important to talk to Rodney. He didn't know if he wanted to warn Rodney or to just clue him in to what everyone was thinking or whether he just needed Rodney to roll his eyes and agree that the whole idea was ridiculous. So they could laugh about it and just get the hell on with their lives.

"Yes? Come on, come on." Rodney waved his hand, growing impatient.

John took a deep breath. "I don't know if you've heard yet, but section 10.654 has been revoked by the US congress. As of today, it's history."

"Section 10.654?" Rodney frowned.

John looked out over the ocean, fixing his gaze at some invisible point on the horizon. "Don't ask, don't tell?"

"Oh?" Rodney said in a quiet voice. "Really?"

"Yes. And you know, it's a funny thing, being that you're a really good friend, and--" John bit his lip, then turned to Rodney.

Who kissed him.

On the mouth. With his mouth. Happy, enthusiastic lips pressed against John's, whiskers scraping against John's chin. It was genuine and sweet, with Rodney's hand cupped firmly against the back of John's neck, holding him in place and John wasn't entirely sure what the hell was going on except that it was a pretty damn good kiss.

John's hand drifted up to Rodney's chest, palm pressing against firm muscle underneath a cotton t-shirt. It was meant as a protest, John fully intended to push Rodney away but somehow he ended up sliding it onto Rodney's shoulder and pulling Rodney closer because Rodney's mouth was wonderful and soft and kind of fascinating. It was only when Rodney licked John's lips that John finally remembered that he didn't do this.

"Wait," John said, dropping his hand and drawing back.

"Hmmm?" Rodney was wide-eyed and looking a little dazed. He leaned in again.

John drew back. "Rodney--what the heck are you doing?"

Rodney's eyes lingered on John's lips. "Kissing you?"

"I know that," John said. "I just--"

Rodney rubbed his thumb along the side of John's neck and John leaned into his touch. It felt really nice. Rodney's hand was big and warm. John was pretty sure Rodney's entire body was big and warm.

John shook himself. "Why?" he finally asked. "Why did you kiss me like that?"

Rodney stilled his hand. "You weren't making a pass at me?"

"What? No, I wasn't--Rodney, I'm not gay," John insisted, but it didn't come out sounding quite as adamant as he had hoped. "I'm not into guys."

"Really?" Rodney looked baffled, but his hand lingered on John's neck.

"Yes, really," John said with a gentle shrug, taking care not to dislodge Rodney's hand. "I mean, except for that guy in college, but I was drunk--that doesn't count and Bobby--Bobby was a pilot so, that was one of those things and it was...it was a long time ago."

Although it was possible that he'd never really gotten over the feel of Bobby's cock in his hand, or the way Bobby kissed him, even though it was years and years ago and now, right now, Rodney was standing close to him, cheeks flushed a bright pink, one side of his mouth twisting downward and Rodney's mouth was ten times more fascinating that Bobby's ever was and John had really liked that kiss...oh.

Rodney kissed him again. Although, it was possible that John was the one who kissed him this time, but that didn't really matter because it was another great kiss, with Rodney making a small noise in throat and leaning into it, kissing with his whole body and that didn't make any sense so John simply wrapped his arms around Rodney and held him as the kiss morphed into something different, something hotter and a wilder.

Then Rodney broke it off, pressing his cheek against John's with a heavy sigh. "Are you sure you don't want to reconsider?"

"Rodney," John said, but then Rodney kissed the side of his John's neck, just below his ear and John couldn't remember what it was he wanted to say.

"Because you know, the kissing is working out really well," Rodney said against John's skin. "And if we were naked and kissing? That would be even better."

Rodney's breath tickled and John's imagination helpfully supplied an image of Rodney naked and kissing him with all that skin rubbing against his as they wrapped themselves around each other. "Uh, maybe." John trailed a hand down Rodney's back and onto his ass, which was round and shapely, and when John gave it a squeeze he found out it was really firm, too. "Rodney--"

With an annoyed grunt Rodney jerked away. "Damn it." He reached up to activate his ear piece. "Yes? What is it?"

John steadied himself with a hand to the railing, breathing like he had just completed a 10k run with Ronon while he tried very hard not to stare at the bulge in Rodney's pants.

"Oh, okay, yes--I'll be right there." Rodney deactivated the radio, then eyed John mournfully. "I have to go; they're running the next simulation."

John scratched the back of his neck. He was still not entirely sure what just happened. "Sure."

"Right. So," Rodney said, looking uncomfortable. His cheeks grew more pink as he reached a hand deep into his pocket and adjusted himself. "Briefing this afternoon, right?"

"Yeah." John nodded.

After Rodney hurried off, John remained on the balcony, staring out at the sea for a long, long time.

***

John hesitated before entering the conference room, carefully assessing the situation. Ronon, Teyla and Elizabeth were already seated. Elizabeth and Teyla were speaking quietly, heads tilted toward each other. Rodney was nowhere in sight.

It looked pretty dangerous. John took a deep breath and headed in.

Just as he had feared, they all raised their heads and smiled at him. For a moment, Ronon had the nerve to looked as though he was about to burst out laughing. John glared pointedly at him.

"No, hey, I get it," Ronon said, hands raised.

Appeased, John nodded and sat across the table just as Rodney burst into the room.

"Sorry, I know I'm late, there was something in the lab, Radek had--well, you know how he is." Rodney sat next to John. "Oh, um, hi?"

John turned to find Rodney staring at him as if uncertain of his welcome. "Hi, Rodney," John said. It came out sounding embarrassingly earnest.

Rodney relaxed, visibly. "Hi," he said again.

"So, um, how'd the simulation go?"

"Good. It was good." Rodney flashed John a dimpled grin, the one that made him look ridiculously cute and John couldn't help grinning back.

"Good," John said. He wanted to kiss Rodney again.

Except that they were in a meeting.

John glanced up to find himself once again the center of attention, all three pairs of eyes focused intently on them both. He fervently hoped for an off-world activation of the gate, a minor emergency, anything for a distraction but there was nothing, nothing but silence while Rodney opened up his laptop, oblivious to all the affectionate gazing.

"So," John announced loudly, folding his hands on the table. "Something interesting came up in the ancient database, Elizabeth?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said, still smiling warmly. "A planet that was once inhabited by an advanced race. The ancients had a base there, but abandoned it after the war began."

"What kind of base?" Rodney asked. "Research? Weapons research?"

"It was a research base, but we don't know what kind."

"Weapon research would be great," Ronon agreed.

"Yes," John said. He nudged Rodney. "Weapons. Maybe energy weapons, that would be cool, wouldn't it?"

John couldn't help himself. He said it just to watch Rodney's face light up, to set Rodney off. So he could watch Rodney get animated and excited, which made his mouth do all kinds of interesting things, along with the talking and hand waving and the grinning and the frowning everything else Rodney normally did within the space of about ten seconds.

"Am I right, here?" Rodney finished, looking at everyone for confirmation. "Hmm? Am I right?"

"Possibly." Elizabeth leaned back in her chair. "All right. You have a go, for tomorrow afternoon. At fifteen hundred hours. Next on the list?"

John tried to focus on the rest of the meeting, but every time he glanced over at Rodney, Rodney was looking at him as if he was about to kiss him again. It was all finally sinking in--things were different now. He could look at Rodney. He could do things with Rodney. Anything was possible. So many years had gone by since he allowed himself to have thoughts about other guys, and he tried to remember what it felt like back then, to be so young, to have the world in front of him, all the possibilities open and available. Maybe there had never been anyone in his life that was important enough for him to take a chance, but now there was Rodney, boundless, irritating Rodney, who kissed him when he least expected it.

John wanted to do it again.

Naked, this time.

And he could. Without repercussion.

The meeting wrapped up and John wasn't sure what else they had discussed, but Elizabeth smiled at him again when he rose from his chair, and Ronon clapped a hand on his back as they left the room. Stumbling, John caught up with Rodney on the stairs. "Hey," he said. "Rodney. We need to talk."

Rodney shoulders slumped, and he wouldn't meet John's eyes. "Of course, yes, you're right. We should talk," he agreed with a sigh.

"My room?" John said, his heart beating faster. Rodney looked so disappointed, and John wanted to reassure him, tell him that he had it all wrong, but not here in the middle of the gate room and certainly not with Ronon and Teyla lingering suspiciously on the stairs below. "In a half hour?"

"Okay, sure." Rodney gave him a quick nod. "I just need to check back in at the lab."

John reached out to touch Rodney's shoulder, but Rodney turned and hurried down the stairs, shoving past Ronon and Teyla.

***

Later, Rodney stood in John's doorway, a frown creasing his brow. His hands were clasped in front of him and he rubbed his palms together, clearly uneasy. "Can I come in?"

The broad line of Rodney's shoulders, the tilt of his chin, the curve of his mouth--it was all so familiar, so welcome. "Yes, Rodney, you can," John said, and it was conceivable his stomach did a little flip flop of joy.

Rodney nodded before stepping cautiously inside. "So it's possible that I might have been a little..." Rodney twirled one hand around, searching for the appropriate word. "Pushy?" he asked with a quick glance to John, as if checking to see if he had chosen the right one.

"And it's possible," John said, drawing the word out as he leaned back in his chair, enjoying the moment to the fullest. "That I needed to be pushed."

Rodney was brought up short, eyes blinking in surprise, mouth hanging open for a full beat. "Oh?" he finally said. "Oh."

"Yup." John rose to his feet. "Sometimes I'm a little--"

And Rodney was kissing him. Again.

Only this time John was ready for it, pulling Rodney in and holding on tight. Rodney's mouth was eager and hungry and a little overwhelming but it was exhilarating, having Rodney's big broad body pressed up against his, Rodney's hands fisting his shirt as they kissed.

"Good," Rodney said, lips still pressed against John's mouth. "Good. Because you know, I always thought there was something between us, this spark and I had wanted to--to--and I thought maybe you wanted to but then, you know, Air Force, so--"

"I know," John said, grinning because Rodney, of course, felt the need to explain.

"Of course you know, well, with the kissing and all." Rodney smiled his liveliest, happiest smile and John had to touch it, his fingertips brushing the curve of Rodney's cheek.

He could touch Rodney anywhere he wanted to.

And he did, moving his hand up over Rodney's head, rubbing his palm against short, soft hair before sliding it down over Rodney's solid neck and shoulders. Rodney's chest was broad and wide, and it felt so good to touch and feel and to have Rodney right there with him, eyes fluttering shut and then blinking wide open again when John moved his hand down to press his palm against Rodney's cock.

"Oh," Rodney said. His hands were still tangled in John's t-shirt. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow," John whispered, kissing Rodney's open mouth.

It was a incredible, the way Rodney stiffened against his hand, cock growing thick and full at his touch. Rodney made a desperate noise and pushed with his hips and it was as though John was touching another guy for the first time, because it was just that damn cool.

"We're going to have sex right now, aren't we?"

"I think so." John squeezed Rodney's cock, and Rodney shuddered all over.

"Then you're going to have to take your clothes off."

"You think?" John kissed Rodney's neck, and the taste of Rodney's skin made him dizzy. "Wow, Rodney you really are smart."

Rodney laughed, a high pitched laugh that might actually have been a giggle and John was so taken by it that he let Rodney push him down flat on the bed. He sat up enough to pull his shirt off over his head, watching as Rodney pulled his own off. Then Rodney's fingers went to the waistband of John's pants and John lifted his hips, delighting in the way Rodney undressed him, having forgotten what it was like to be stripped naked by a guy with such single-minded focus.

And then John was naked on the bed, hard cock resting against his hip.

Rodney stared, and stared some more, until John felt warm all over. "You have to be naked, too," John pointed out.

"Right." And in a flash, Rodney shucked his pants, underwear, shoes and socks.

He was broad and solid all over, with pale almost delicate-looking skin but John couldn't take his eyes off of Rodney's cock, jutting out happily toward him. He sat up, reaching out to put his hands on Rodney's hips--Rodney's naked hips--then tugged until Rodney stepped close enough for John to nuzzle his belly.

Rodney's hands went to John's head. "Wait, wait, you're--" and then he laughed again, and John could feel it against his cheek, reverberating through Rodney's body.

"No more waiting." John ducked down to taste Rodney's cock. He licked the head before closing his mouth over it, sucking hard and it was more wonderful than he had remembered, the smell and the taste enough to make him crazy, enough to make him come right there and then, especially when Rodney jerked and pushed his cock against the back of John's throat.

Rodney pulled away, gasping. "Sorry."

"No, no, please." John tried to tug him back but Rodney knelt on the bed and pulled him up for a kiss.

"Sheppard," Rodney said, then rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's ridiculous. John."

"Yes?" John said, hands going to Rodney's chest. He rubbed his thumbs over Rodney's nipples, and Rodney's eyes went unfocused.

"Um--"

John found that Rodney's cock fitted perfectly in the palm of his hand. He should have figured that out years ago. "You were saying?"

"I don't know," Rodney said, looking so sweetly distressed that John had to kiss him.

By the time the kiss finished, John was flat on his back and Rodney was laying on top of him. Sensory overload--every inch of his skin that touched Rodney's was sizzling. John spread his legs, pushed up against him and rubbed his cock against Rodney's hip. Rodney moaned and pushed back, his body wonderfully heavy and hot, so solid, so there that John hung on, hands sliding down Rodney's back as he pushed up again and again, until his heels were digging into the mattress as he tried to get leverage against Rodney's big wonderful body.

When Rodney lifted his head and murmured something low and desperate, John pressed his mouth to Rodney's exposed neck, sucking at the skin just beneath Rodney's chin. It made Rodney writhe above him, so John licked and nipped his way to the crook of Rodney's neck, wanting to see just how much he could make Rodney squirm with delight. He could taste Rodney's sweat now, Rodney's skin growing slick and warm and then with a surprised sound Rodney stiffened and came, cock pulsing against John's belly, come spreading out between them.

It felt fantastic and John held Rodney tight as he shuddered out his orgasm and then pulled Rodney down into a kiss, capturing his moans and gasping breaths.

"Oh, god," Rodney whispered, his body going limp. "Naked kissing's good."

After a moment John pulled his legs up and squeezed Rodney between his thighs. "Rodney--"

Raising his head, Rodney blinked at him and then grinned. "Oh, hey there."

He wiggled a hand down between them and wrapped it around John's cock. John groaned and pushed into it, aware of Rodney's eyes on him, his gaze intense and John thought he heard Rodney whisper something about being beautiful, which was pretty damn weird but then Rodney squeezed and John bucked up and came apart to the sound of Rodney's whispered encouragement and the taste of Rodney's sweat in his mouth.

"Wow," Rodney said when John finally stopped shaking. He pressed his lips to John's cheek, his forehead, his mouth. "I made you come. That was totally hot."

Eyes still closed, John grunted and held tighter, loathe to let Rodney go.

Rodney chuckled, and John held on even tighter. He wanted to do it all over again, right now. He wanted to make up for lost time--years of lost time.

"So, um anyway," Rodney said. "Are we a thing now?"

John opened one eye. "A thing?"

Rodney lifted his chin. "As opposed to, say, a one night stand."

"Rodney, it's the middle of the afternoon," John pointed out.

"Must you be so literal?" Rodney rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, a one afternoon stand. Is that better?"

John nodded, biting his lip to keep from laughing. "We're a thing, Rodney. As a matter of fact, I think we've always been a thing."

Nodding happily in agreement, Rodney slid off, leaving a wet smear on John's belly. He settled against John's side. "That's why I kissed you. And you should remember that. I kissed you first." He tapped a finger on John's chest.

John captured Rodney's hand in his. "Yes, you did, Rodney."

"So," Rodney said, his fingers twining with John's. "I know the regulations have changed, but do you want to keep this a secret? I'd understand, of course--"

"You know what?" John rolled over to face Rodney. "I think it would be okay if we let folks figure it out."

"Oh. Okay." Rodney smiled a surprisingly shy, genuine smile. He seemed surprised by John's answer. "Good."

Touched, John leaned in for a slow, sweet kiss.

Rodney snuggled in close. "I'll bet it will be huge shock when they do. The great big hero turning out to be gay and all."

John nodded. "Absolutely." And he kissed Rodney again.

***

"Good morning everyone," John said, seating himself next to Elizabeth, his tray piled high with pancakes.

"Good morning, John," Teyla said.

Ronon grunted, stuffing a large piece of toast into his mouth.

Rodney appeared, slipping into the seat beside John. "Uh, hi." He grinned at everyone. They grinned back at him.

"So," John said, to no one in particular as he buttered his pancakes. "That stuff I said yesterday? Never mind. Forget I said it."

Ronon began to laugh.

"What stuff?" Rodney asked, clutching his coffee cup. "What did I miss?"

"You didn't miss anything at all, Rodney," John said. "Hey, you going to eat all that bacon?"

"Yes, I am." Rodney batted John's fork away.

"What about the sausage?"

"Yes, the sausage too--although maybe if you were to share those pancakes?"

John shook his head, sliding his plate out of Rodney's reach. "No way--get your own."

Rodney let out his breath with a huff, and John slid his plate back into Rodney's reach. Rodney helped himself to the pancakes. Without needing to look up, John knew everyone at the table was watching.

Watching and, of course smiling.

Then Rodney's thigh pressed against his and John decided he really didn't care at all.

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