In The Interest Of Science

by The Grrrl

Title: In The Interest Of Science

Authors: chelle and the grrrl

Author's email:,

Author's URL:

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Pairing: Sheppard/McKay

Summary:An outtake from "Scenes from a Vacation". John and Rodney discover the Leather Master of Key West shop.

"What's in there?" Rodney asked, tugging on John's arm and pointing across the road.

The sign over the store said Leather Man. "My guess, sex toy shop."

Rodney's eyes got wide. "Really?"

"Come on, you must've been in a sex toy shop."

"Of course I've been in a sex toy shop, but it was run by women and was all pink and flowery. It smelled like vanilla. A place that sells sex toys should not smell like food."

"You like food," John pointed out.

"Yes, but not during sex. Some appetites shouldn't be combined."

Pressing his lips into a straight line to keep from smiling, John nodded solemnly, as though this made perfect sense. Taking hold of Rodney's arm, he led them across the street.

The store window was filled with black leather--shorts and harnesses, even a pair of pants, all on disturbingly well-formed mannequins. "That would look good on you," Rodney said, pointing at a harness that had leather straps over both shoulders and around the wearer's rib cage, all attached to a ring that rested in the center of the wearer's chest.

John frowned. He had no illusions about how broad his chest wasn't. "Really?"

Rodney nodded. "With your chest hair and pecs, absolutely."

Hearing Rodney use the term "pecs" was kind of amusing and John smiled.

"You should let me buy you something. Since you're paying for the hotel."

"There was that shirt." John jerked his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the store Rodney hadn't even let him enter.

"No. I want to get you something you wouldn't buy for yourself." Rodney tugged on his sleeve. "Now, come on."

The inside of the store was surprisingly well-lit. No shame here, nothing that needed to be tucked away into dark corners. John liked that. The front of the store was filled with the expensive stuff, mostly leather, almost all of it black. "I would look ridiculous in those," John said, looking over Rodney's shoulder at the black leather shorts in Rodney's hands.

"Who says they're for you?"

Poking Rodney in the ribs, John said, "Yeah, right," and walked over to the shelves stocked with dildos. Rodney followed a couple of minutes later, picking up one of the boxes and turning it over in his hands.

"I think this is the guy we saw in that movie." He held the box up for John to see. It did look kind of like the guy with the really big penis, the one that made John's look average. Rodney was reading the back of the box with a mortified expression. "This is a replica of his penis. They made a cast and everything. That is just creepy." Rodney put the box on the shelf and jerked his hands away as though the creepiness was contagious. "Don't you think that's creepy?"

John shrugged, tilting his head to the side and smirking a little.

Rodney scowled at him and John grinned. Squatting down, John picked a box up off the bottom shelf. "I'm pretty sure no one's dick was put in a cast for this one. At least I hope not."

"Is that?" Rodney asked and John turned the box so Rodney could look through the window at the two foot black dildo inside. "Now that's just wrong. Who wants to be penetrated by something that's going to unravel their intestines?"

On the other side of the aisle someone snickered.

Snickering himself, John put the box back.

"Can I help you find something?" There was a clean-cut blond in a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts standing in front of them. He was tan and buff, handsome in a 'guy-next-door' kind of way, if you liked that sort of thing.

"Yes," Rodney said. "Do you have any normal dildos? Something not designed to cause internal injury or based on some porn-star-I've-never-heard-of's penis?"

The clerk smiled. "I'm sure we can find you something. Have you looked at the Manrammers?"

"First, if I want to be rammed, I have a perfectly functional man right here." Rodney grabbed John's upper arm.

John smiled at the clerk.

"Secondly, I donít want to use something that resembles some other guy's penis when I'm in bed with my boyfriend. Also?" Rodney frowned at the row of boxes the blonde was pointing at, "I think those are all bigger than I am, and bringing a dildo bigger than you are into your bed is a bad idea, trust me."

The clerk's smile grew even broader. "I think I have something you might like over here."

Rodney followed the clerk to a glass case near the register, John trailing behind them. Clearly Rodney knew exactly what he wanted, and why should that be a surprise?

"This is definitely more like it," Rodney said.

The case was filled with glass dildos and plugs in various sizes. "Can I see that one?" he asked, pointing down into the case.

"Sure." The clerk unlocked the case and handed the dildo to Rodney.

"What do you think?" Rodney asked, holding it out for John to look at.

Other than being cylindrical the object in question in no way resembled a penis, with an oddly textured shaft and multiple colors. "No flared base," John said, not adding that he suspected the textured sides would lead to soreness pretty quickly.

"Good point." Rodney handed the dildo back.

"What about that one?" John asked pointing at a slender blue dildo. The clerk withdrew it from the case and held it out to him. Cool and heavy in his hands, it was one clean line, with no weird textures. The blue kind of reminded him of Rodney's eyes, not that John would ever say that out loud.

"You like that one, donít you?" Rodney said.

John looked up to find Rodney watching him with an odd expression on his face. "The base is flared."

"Uh-huh." He turned to the clerk. "We'll take it. Now, what do you have in silicone?"

John reluctantly handed the dildo back to the clerk who set it aside before leading them up another aisle. "Our silicone dildos are here. They're more realistic than the glass ones, though."

Rodney waved him away, already reaching for a bright purple one with a small curve and bulbous head. "What do you think?"

"I think you don't need two dildos," John said, worried.

"First of all, they're for us, not me. And secondly they feel completely different. Here." He held out the dildo for John to touch. It was softer and warmer than the glass. "Sometimes we may want one and sometimes the other," Rodney added. "What do you think of the size?"

"Well, it's not bigger than you."

Rodney grinned and nodded at him. "So we'll take it. Now we need some lube."

"Rodney, we have lube."

"You can never have too much." Rodney started for the back of the store where they could see lube displayed along the wall and John trailed after him.

"Maybe we should just get some more Astroglide," John said, eyeing the tubs in front of them. "It fits in the suitcase."

Rodney held up a container that bore a disturbing resemblance to a Crisco can. "Sure you donít want some of this?"

"Not unless you've changed your mind about fisting."

Placing the tub back on the shelf, Rodney said, "How about some Boy Butter?"

John grabbed a bottle of Astroglide. "Let's go." He turned toward the counter.

"Wait," Rodney said, clutching at his arm. "We need a plug."

"We're getting two dildos."

Rodney leaned close and whispered, "Imagine the plug inside you while you're inside me."

"It couldn't hurt to look," John said.

Staring at the line of boxes in front of him, John said, "You are not inserting anything into my ass that is named after a person."

"What I want to know is how they decide which plug gets which name. Why is the really fat round one Steve and the skinny one Tom? Hey, look, they have a Kirk."

"Rodney," John said, grabbing his arm before Rodney could pick up the box.

"Okay, okay." He moved down the aisle to a collection of plugs that weren't named after people. "What do you think, rippled or smooth?"


Rodney grinned at him and picked up a rippled plug. "It says it's an inch and a half at its widest point. Do you think that's too much?"

John thought it sounded just about right. "Can't hurt to try it."


"So are we ready to go?"


Starting toward the register, John looked back over his shoulder to see Rodney looking at something else. He went to the checkout area anyway-- Rodney would have to follow eventually-- and placed the Astroglide on the counter. Coming up beside him, Rodney deposited the silicone dildo, the plug and a third box containing a second plug. "It vibrates," Rodney said.

John shook his head.

"I'll get you some batteries," the clerk said, placing their glass dildo on the counter.

"I think we should go back to the hotel. All this shopping has tired me out." Rodney didn't look the least bit tired. In fact he was grinning in a way that was vaguely lecherous.

Sliding an arm around Rodney's waist, John squeezed him. "Yeah, okay."

Rodney beamed.


"Let me know how it feels, okay?"

Something cold and hard pushed against John's hole, then slipped inside. Stiff and unyielding, it was an odd sort of sensation. John took a breath, pulled his knees up and spread his legs wide. "It's a little weird."

"Bad weird?"

"No, no--it's um--." John squirmed around the glass dildo, getting used to the feel of it inside of him.

Rodney slid it in the rest of the way.


"Good, hmmm?" Rodney was sitting cross-legged between John's legs, watching John with a grin on his lips. He let the dildo slide out a little and then pushed it back in.

"Yeah. Real good." John could get into this sort of thing, he really could. "Do that again."

Rodney pulled the dildo completely out.

"Hey," John complained.

"Come here." Rodney slipped a hand behind John's knee. "It works better if you are closer."

John immediately slid down the bed until his legs were draped over Rodney's thighs. "How's that?" he asked.

"That's better, let me just--" Rodney arranged John's legs to his liking, then canted John's hips up further. "Hand me that pillow."

"Would you just stick the damn thing back in?"

Rodney snapped his fingers impatiently. "Pillow."

John grabbed a nearby pillow and tossed it at Rodney, then lifted his hips as instructed so that Rodney could tuck it under his ass. "All right?"

"Hold your horses--"

"I don't have any horses."

"Impatient, much? Just adding more lube. There."

"Oh, oh, that's it," John sighed as Rodney slid it back inside him. "That's good."

It was a lot better now, something about the angle made it more comfortable, and John liked having his legs draped over Rodney's. It felt right, all that warm naked skin against his legs, him and Rodney in their great big bed. And it felt even more right when Rodney started fucking him with the toy, steady thrusts that reached deep inside.

"It looks nice from here," Rodney said. "Really nice."

"Mmm." John laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation. His cock lay heavy against his stomach, and after a moment he reached down and gave it a stroke.

"No, no, no." Rodney put his hand over John's. "You can't come yet."


Rodney pulled the dildo out. Again.

John made a frustrated noise.

"We have to test out the other one," Rodney said.

"Rodney," John complained, "I could just come twice." He was good with that. Really, he was.

"Too many variables," Rodney told him.

"Then tomorrow night we switch the order--oh, oh, thank you, yes," John sighed with relief as Rodney pushed the other dildo in.

"What do you think of this one?"

John bit his lip and stared up at the ceiling. "It's um--" He wriggled his hips and squeezed his muscles tight. "Warmer."

"Yes, yes, see, I told you, the silicone would feel more natural."

Rodney gave another push and John grunted as the dildo slid up inside of him. "Uh, yeah--I think it's a little bigger than the other one, too."

"It's not uncomfortable, is it?"

"Oh, no." Awash with pleasure, John stretched his arms out over his head and squeezed his legs against Rodney's waist. Perfect. Just perfect. "Go faster."

Rodney obliged, picking up the pace and yes, it was good, that was very good--

--until everything changed again.

"How's this?"

It felt kind of funny at first, and then John realized Rodney was rotating the toy. "Mmm." He shifted again, grinding his hips down in it while digging his heels in. Yeah, that worked for him, filling him up and rubbing against all the right areas.

"Or do you like the pushing better?" Rodney let the toy slip almost all the way out and then began working it in and out, with a long, slow push in and an even slower pull back out.

Whoa. That was good too. "Rodney," John whimpered. He looked down to find Rodney watching him, brow furrowed thoughtfully.

"Was that a yes?" Rodney patted John's leg, then brightened. "Hey, how about pushing and twisting?"


The pushing with the twist was the best yet, and John writhed blissfully.

"You like that?"

"What do you think?" John panted.

"I think I'm glad we found that store, that's what I think."

"Uh huh." John was getting close, skirting right along that edge, heart pounding, his cock aching and it was kind of hot to have Rodney speaking so calmly while fucking him. "Rodney, I have to--" He reached for his cock.

Rodney pulled John's hand away. "No, not yet."

"Damn it--" John jerked his hand from Rodney's grasp, and then the dildo disappeared, again. John moaned in dismay.

"We should try that with the other one."

"No, we shouldn't." Then it was back, the glass dildo, sleek and slippery. John rocked his hips against it as Rodney twisted and pushed.

"What do you think?"

"Huh?" John dug his hands into the pillow behind his head.

"Do you like this one better, or the other one?"


"Can't hear you." Rodney gave the dildo an extra twist.


"Yes, that's what we're doing."

John whimpered.

"You know, maybe we should--"

"Don't you dare," John snarled.

Rodney grinned at him. "You're incredibly hot like this, you know that?"

With a low growl John fell back onto the pillow and reached for his cock. Rodney intercepted his hand and John was about to let loose with a string of profanities when something warm and wet slid over him--oh, god, Rodney's mouth, on his cock--Rodney was sucking him down, thank god. The tension inside of him wound up and then broke loose and he came, finally, moaning his pleasure out loud and Rodney sucked it all out of him, every last drop.

"Wow," John said when he could find his voice again.

Rodney kissed his hip. "Absolutely." He eased the dildo from John's body, and when John shuddered and twitched, gently petted John's stomach. "You just get all crazy with this stuff, don't you? And we've only just started. Look we have these other toys." Rodney waved a hand at the butt plugs laid out on the bed and beamed at John, looking too darn smug for his own good.

The plugs were appealing, but not for him. Nope, it was time for Rodney to be the one who lost control, and John was just the man to do it. He reached for Rodney, sitting up and tugging on Rodney's arm. "Come here."

John lay back and pulled Rodney down over him. A few kisses and when Rodney was suitably distracted, John rolled them. He really liked having a big bed. Rodney groaned and lifted his hips, pressing his cock against John's groin.

With a last kiss, John whispered, "My turn to play," and shifted so that he was sitting between Rodney's thighs. Looking at Rodney stretched out like this, ready to be played with, he was tempted to ask Rodney to touch himself, to just sit back and watch. But there were toys.

Picking up the rippled plug, he coated it with lube, glancing at Rodney from under his lashes, watching him watch John, eyes wide. "Are you sure that's going to fit? The base is awfullyÖ"


"Right, right, just--" He waved his arm in the direction of his ass and John's hand.

"I was about to." With the tip of the plug, he traced the edge of Rodney's entrance, wondering if he should apply some lube with his fingers. The idea of not using his fingers, just this once, had definite appeal. Applying more lube to the tip, he pressed it in, just a little.


Smiling to himself, he pressed again, then again, going only a little deeper each time.

"Okay, it's good. You can use more," Rodney said.

"Not yet."

"This is revenge, isn't it?"

"Nope," John said and pushed the first ripple inside, watching Rodney's hole close around it.

"That's--" Rodney fisted the sheets.

"Good?" John suggested, turning it.


"Uh-huh." John pushed a little more, starting on the second ripple. Writhing a little, Rodney lifted his hips. "Okay?"

A quick nod. "Yes, yes."

John pushed a little more. Watching the brightly colored silicone disappear into Rodney, John felt himself starting to get turned on all over again.

Letting go of the sheet, Rodney slid his hand up over his hip. John intercepted it. "Remember what you said in the store, about having a toy inside you while you're inside me?"

Rodney shook his head. "It was the other way around."

Watching the second ripple slip into Rodney, John said, "It was, wasnít it? I think I like this option better."

"So when are you--" Rodney started, breaking off when John turned the plug again. "When are you going to--"

"First, we have to try the other one."

Rodney lifted his head. "This is revenge."

"Nope." John grinned. "It's science."

He tugged on the plug, easing it out. Rodney grunted as the widest section passed through the tight ring of muscle.

When the plug was out, John laid it on the towel Rodney had thoughtfully spread out for the toys and picked up the vibrating plug. He coated it with lube as Rodney watched. It was thinner than the plug they'd already tried, but the idea of it vibrating was pretty cool.

He was sure Rodney would think it was pretty cool, too.

With one smooth push he slid it inside and Rodney groaned. "Good?" he asked.

"You said I could be in you."

John stretched out next to him, setting the controls on Rodney's belly, and kissed him. "I did, didn't I?"

"John," Rodney whined between kisses. "Please."

Kissing him again, deep and giving, John brushed a nipple with his fingers.

Rodney grabbed his hand and tugged it down, pressing it to his cock. "Feel that. Feel how hard I am."

"You are pretty hard," John said casually.

"You're a bastard."

"Yeah, but I'm a bastard who's about to ride your cock," John said softly, directly into Rodney's ear. "So you should be nice to me."

"So do it already."

With a quick kiss, John straddled him, reaching back to take hold of Rodney's cock. Then he slid downward, sighing as Rodney filled him. The dildos were fun, really fun, but this was better. Rodney groaned looking relieved and blissful, and John picked up the control for the plug. Switching it on, he turned the dial about half way and lifted himself up.

Rodney's eyes went even wider and he clutched at John's hips. "Oh, oh god."

"How's that?"

"It's buzzing." Rodney seemed astonished. "Oh, wow"

John started to slide down again and Rodney moved to meet him, gasping loudly. Wow, that was hot, Rodney's face all twisted up with pleasure. He set an easy pace and Rodney met him eagerly.

Just to see what would happen, John turned the dial, increasing the vibrations.

"Oh, god. Oh, god," Rodney chanted, hands tightening convulsively.

John slowed his movements, trying to keep control, but Rodney was practically bucking under him, pushing up and up, desperate to get into John, and that was wicked hot. Giving in, John met Rodney's thrusts, driving Rodney's cock right into his prostate.

Sex with Rodney was always like this, crazy and fun and John loved him so damn much. He dropped the controls in favor of stroking his cock, eyes glued to Rodney's face as Rodney twisted and groaned beneath him.

"Oh jeeze, you're hard again, aren't you?" Despite his breathlessness, Rodney sounded almost indignant.

"Just about." John grinned down at his clearly above-average cock. "Pretty cool, huh?" He came down hard on Rodney's cock and clenched his muscles around it. Yeah, the real thing--there was nothing like it.

Rodney let out a strangled cry, his shoulders curling up off the bed.

"This is a lot of fun."

"I thought it was science," Rodney said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you're right, it is." John lowered himself down, resting his weight on Rodney's hips and preventing him from thrusting. He felt around for the control, then dialed it all the way down.

"John--what are you--?" The look of desperation on Rodney's face was incredibly appealing.

"I want you to tell me how it feels."

Rodney's words came out in a tumbling rush. "It feels good, how do you think it feels? Good, okay? It's good and buzzy and very, very good." He was still rocking his hips, trying to thrust up into John.

"Rodney." John bent down and kissed him, weight resting on one arm, the control unit in his other hand. Rodney kissed him back frantically, making those needy noises in the back of his throat that John loved so much. Then John thumbed the dial, and Rodney's hips jerked.

"Here's the lowest setting. How's that?"

As soon as Rodney opened his mouth to speak, John kissed him, swallowing down whatever words were about to come out. "Can't hear you," John murmured against Rodney's lips.


John interrupted Rodney with another kiss, then turned the vibrator up a few notches. "Is this better?"


The rest of the words were slurred against John's lips but Rodney kept right on talking, formless, muffled words as he arched and moved against John.

Chuckling, John licked Rodney's lips. "Can't quite make that out."

This time Rodney wrapped a hand around the back of John's head and held him in place, kissing him hard, his other hand sneaking down between them to grab hold of John's cock. Startled, John thrust forward into Rodney's hand and then Rodney had the leverage to move, slamming up against John's ass with firm, steady thrusts and John found himself laughing with sheer delight, because Rodney had outsmarted him at his own game, and because Rodney was kissing him and stroking him and he was about to come yet again and at his age that was just plain crazy.

Rodney came first, his body freezing up and then shaking like he was coming apart. John could feel him coming, Rodney's cock pulsing hard inside his body and then he simply closed his eyes and let his own orgasm sweep through him, intense and tight.

By time he was done his legs were shaky so he sat back, trying to catch his breath. Laying beneath him, Rodney looked utterly wiped out, his skin flushed and sweaty and his mouth hanging open as if slightly stunned.

"Remote?" Rodney said weakly. "Can you turn that thing off?"

"Oh." John found the dial and turned the vibrator off. "Sorry."

"No, you're not."

John lifted himself carefully from Rodney's softening cock, feeling a slight twinge, and that had been a lot of penetration in a short time. Although being sore from really great sex was nothing to complain about. "Nope, I'm not," he said, stretching out next to Rodney on his back and brushing a knuckle down the side of Rodney's hip. "I think I like the scientific method."

"You just needed to understand it properly," Rodney said, sounding incredibly self-satisfied and dazed at the same time.

"So, when are you going to start developing theories and generating testable hypothesis?"

"After I get the silicone out of my ass."

"Sorry," John said, laughing as he sat up. Rodney spread his legs and John eased the plug free, dropping it onto the towel. He'd clean the toys later. "Think we should put condoms on them next time?" It wasn't as if their room hadn't come with a bowl full of them and it would definitely make the cleaning up easier.

Rodney lifted his head. "Good idea." With a contented smile, he dropped his head back onto the pillow as if lifting it had taken more energy than he had left.

This time John stretched out on his side, sliding a bent knee between Rodney's legs and resting a hand on his chest.

"We should nap before dinner," Rodney said.

They had semen and lube everywhere, but John couldn't quite bring himself to care. "Yeah, okay." Pressing a quick kiss to Rodney's shoulder, he closed his eyes.

"Then have sex again after dinner. "

John yawned. "Okay."

"And all night long." Rodney wrapped an arm around John and pulled him closer.

"Sounds good," John mumbled.

"And all day tomorrow."


"We're going to need more lube. Maybe we should go back. I can pick up that leather harness for you, too."

Not the leather thing again. John raised his head, frowning. "What happened to the napping?"

"Oh. Right." Rodney shut his eyes, but the impudent grin remained on his face. "I really tire you out, don't I?"

John let his head fall back onto Rodney's shoulder, willing himself not to laugh, because really, that only encouraged Rodney.

"Does this mean I'm your manrammer?" Rodney asked.

Laughing out loud, John slapped Rodney's chest, and Rodney hugged him even tighter.

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