Pretense

by The Grrrl

Title: Pretense

Author: The Grrrl

Author's email: thegrrrl2002@gmail.com

Author's URL: http://thegrrrl2002.slashcity.org

Archive: Ask first.

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Pairing: Sheppard/McKay

Summary: Rodney is not very good at pretending.

Notes: hank you to chelle for looking this over. And for listening to me whine about this for like, forever. (She's so very patient!) This was one of those fics that didn't know what it wanted to be when it grew up.

"So, um, Colonel? Are you up for a movie tonight?" Rodney asked, right at the lunch table, surrounded by colleagues. He shifted in his seat, certain that he failed miserably at 'casual'.

But John had said it would be safer this way, to hide what they were doing in plain sight.

"Sure, Rodney, what have you got?" If John's brows lifted slightly, no one noticed.

"Chinatown? Or On the Waterfront?"

John tilted his chair back, pondering his decision. "Chinatown," he announced.

"Good." Rodney nodded and shoved a spoonful of Jell-O into his mouth. "Good. Around eight? I should be finished up around eight." He was talking too fast, and he knew it.

"Works for me. See you then." John rose from his seat and gave Rodney a manly pat on the shoulder as he passed. So casual, so easy.

For him.

Elizabeth watched John leave, then smiled at Rodney. "It's a good movie," she said. "Have you seen it before?"

"No, I haven't." He was terrible at subterfuge. He had told John that. But John had insisted this was the best way, and Rodney really wanted to see him that night. "But you liked it?"

Elizabeth nodded. "It's an updated film noir. With a young Jack Nicholson. Pretty impressive. I think you'll both enjoy it."

Rodney's face grew warm. "I'm sure we'll enjoy it. The movie--we'll enjoy the movie." He tried to scoop up more Jello-O, but the dish was empty, so he gathered up his tray, and with a weak smile at everyone, fled the mess.

 

***

It was five after eight when Rodney's door chimed. He opened it to find John, slouching in an oh-so-casual pose, hands shoved into his pockets. He was slightly breathless, as if he had been running.

"Hello, Colonel," Rodney said, even though no one was in the hall behind him. He stepped aside to allow John to enter.

"Hiya, Rodney." John slipped past him into the room.

The door slid shut, but before Rodney could say anything else John was right there, warm, hard body pressing against his. John's cock was hard and stiff, straining against his pants, loose boxers doing nothing to hold it in. "John--"

"Damn it, Rodney, I've been thinking about this all afternoon." John kissed him, hands under Rodney's shirt, fingers spread over his skin.

Rodney's stomach twisted at the words. John in his arms, hands all over him, fierce kisses and low, eager noises as if he couldn't survive another minute without touching him--this was a different kind of John, not the John who smirked at him from across the lunchroom table. Each time Rodney experienced it was just as astonishing as going through a stargate and ending up in a different galaxy.

John tugged him down onto the bed, then climbed over him, clumsy with need. "Rodney, can you--please?" He shifted onto a hip and unfastened his pants.

"Okay, okay, let me." Rodney slid his hands under the waistband of John's boxers, through crinkly curly hair and then over a hot, hard shaft. He squeezed and it surged in his fist, growing even harder. John closed his eyes and moaned, hips pushing forward.

"That's it, that's it," he whispered. He reached down between Rodney's legs and pressed his hand against Rodney's erection.

Pleasure washed over Rodney, yet he still managed to tug John's pants down, freeing his cock. John's cock was gorgeous, long and hard, and Rodney immediately ducked his head and closed his mouth over it. John made a pitiful noise, hand moving over Rodney's head and encouraging him to suck.

Rodney was more than happy to. He loved the feel of smooth skin as the shaft slid over his lips and he sucked in as much as he could, letting it press against the back of his throat before releasing it and sliding back up to run his tongue over the head. A hard cock in his mouth, and the fact that it was John's cock made it all the better. And the way John moved and jerked and moaned, as if he could barely stand the pleasure--something for Rodney remember as he sat through yet another interminable meeting, or worked in his lab, or even as they marched through the woods on another world.

John's cock, in his mouth.

Rodney petted John's stomach, feeling the muscles quiver beneath his hand. John was close already and Rodney tried to make it last, but then John thrust into his mouth and came, his low, astonished "oh god" sending shivers down Rodney's spine. Rodney sucked and swallowed, holding John's cock in his mouth as it softened, not wanted to let go. John's hand rested heavily his head and it was a good place to be, nosing into John's crotch. But eventually John's spent cock slipped from his mouth to lay against John's thigh. Rodney pressed a kiss to John's hip, then pushed John's shirt up to kiss his stomach and chest. Finally Rodney reached up to kiss his mouth, which opened up easily, soft lips and a wet tongue licking his.

Dazed and content, John smiled and it was like the sun breaking through the clouds.

He reached for Rodney's cock, pushing Rodney down onto his back. Then he murmured, "Just a second," pausing to tuck himself in and pull his own pants up.

"John, that's not necessary." Rodney loved the look of John's naked hips. He loved John looking undone and ravished.

By him, of course.

But then John unfastened Rodney's pants and freed his cock, and Rodney didn't think about anything other than how good John's mouth felt, how good John was at sucking cock, how good he looked while doing it, especially those lips wrapped around his shaft, dark head bobbing up and down. When Rodney came, it was in a great, sweeping rush, and he held onto John's shoulders and writhed happily. "That's it, yes, good, good, good," he babbled as John licked him clean.

Finally, Rodney lay back with a blissful sigh. Sex was good. Sex with John was great.

A suspicious movement on the bed, and Rodney opened his eyes to see John sitting on the edge, casting nervous glances at the door. Rodney's eyes narrowed. Just one instance of Radek coming by at an inopportune time to ask about a 'jumper repair and John acted like his room was a busy thoroughfare. "Relax," Rodney said, annoyed. His post-orgasmic contentment faded abruptly.

"I am relaxed, Rodney." John turned to him, eyeing Rodney's open pants and exposed penis.

Rodney gave him a look, but acquiesced and buttoned up his pants. "They'll knock, you know."

"Who?"

"Whoever might possibly come by to talk to me. Which happens very rarely." Rodney tapped his earpiece. "Because we have radios."

John got up and dragged Rodney's chair over to the bed. "Thank you for clearing that up for me."

It was always over way too soon. A flurry of passion, of touching and sucking and needing, and then it was done. And now they had to watch the movie. Because what if someone asked about it? As usual, John sat in the chair. Which was completely unnecessary, but if John didn't want to sit on the bed--as if someone could sense they where lingering in bed together--then fine, more room for him to relax.

Rodney didn't want to think about the alternative, that John simply did not want to sit in the bed next to him.

He busied himself with getting his pillows just right, then opened his laptop and started up the movie. "Elizabeth said it was good."

"So I've heard."

"Jack Nicholson."

"He's pretty cool."

Rodney sighed. Scintillating conversion.

The movie began.

It was a decent movie, but Rodney couldn't get caught up in it. He was too aware of John, sitting beside him and staring at the computer screen, there but not really there with him. Rodney still had the taste of John in his mouth, could still feel the sensation of John's skin moving under his fingers but John might as well have been a million miles away.

Rodney glanced over to see John slumped down in the chair, stocking feet resting on the bed, eyes half-closed.

"Comfortable?" Rodney couldn't resist asking.

John blinked his eyes open. "No, not really."

"That's funny. Because I am." Rodney made a point of stretching and settling into the pillows. "Quite comfy."

John pulled his feet away and stood. For a moment Rodney thought he was going to leave. But then, to his surprise, John sat on the bed beside him.

"What?" John asked in response to Rodney's questioning look.

"Just sit, okay?"

As John shifted about, trying to find a comfortable position against the bare wall, Rodney moved to one side of his pillows. "There's room for two here," he said, as casually as he could. Like it didn't matter at all.

Maybe he was getting better at subterfuge, because immediately John slid closer and leaned against the pillows. He leaned against Rodney, too, his hip pressing against Rodney's hip, shoulder tucked against Rodney's shoulder.

"Better?" Rodney asked.

John nodded, even though he seemed a little on edge. "Yeah. Let's watch the movie, okay?"

Rodney adjusted the computer so it was resting half on his leg, half on John's, and backed up over the scenes they had missed.

At some point John's hand crept over Rodney's arm, his thumb gently rubbing Rodney's wrist. Rodney watched, mesmerized by the gentle caress. He wanted to ask John what he was doing, why he had decided he could sit with him, but he was enjoying the warmth of John's body and enjoying John's touch too much to really care. When John turned in and pressed his lips to the side of Rodney's neck, Rodney's breath caught. He pressed closer and John lingered against his skin, not actually kissing, just brushing it with his lips, stroking him, his breath tickling Rodney's neck. Then he nuzzled up to Rodney's ear and sucked gently on an earlobe.

"John," Rodney said, turning his head. Soft and sweet, John's mouth brushed against his in a kiss, and this was truly a surprise, the best kind of surprise. A rare chance to linger over John's lips and explore the line of his jaw, the smoothness of his cheek, to feel John's eyes flutter shut as he kissed the delicate skin at the corner of his eye.

To Rodney's amusement, John's eyes stayed shut. His body sagged, sliding down until his head rested on Rodney's shoulder. Rodney waited, but John just breathed steadily. He wondered if he should wake John so that he could see the movie. But hell, if anyone asked, John could simply tell the truth, that he fell asleep during it, right?

A rare thing--John cuddled up to him, relaxed and heavy, instead of shifty-eyed and ready to bolt.

Rodney remained perfectly still until the end of the movie. The credits rolled, the music started up, and John twitched. Then he rubbed his face and yawned.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting up with a bewildered expression. "With the movie, I mean."

Rodney sat back and watched. John was even more appealing when drowsy. It wasn't fair, and he wanted John all over again. "Space aliens came down and took them away."

John frowned. After a moment he said, "No they didn't".

"Okay, you're right, they didn't." Taking a chance, Rodney slid his hands down John's chest, took hold of the hem of his shirt, and pulled. "The volcano erupted, causing a huge earthquake." He lifted the shirt up over John's head.

"Rodney, there was no volcano," John said from behind his shirt. He struggled to pull his arms free and then emerged, ruffled and wary. "What are you doing?"

Rodney trailed his fingers over naked skin. John looked good without his shirt on. His torso was long and enviably lean, with strong shoulders and dark hair curling all over his chest. Rodney liked it. "A huge wave hit the city, turned it upside down, and then they all had to race to the bottom to get to the surface."

He reached for the buttons on John's pants.

"The Poseidon Adventure?" John asked, putting his hand over Rodney's, stopping him. "I loved that movie."

Rodney rolled his eyes, "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." He tried to pull his hands free, but John held on to them.

"I should go--"

"Do you realize I've never seen you naked? That we've never been naked together? We've had sex six times, and never once got naked," Rodney told him, more heatedly than he had intended.

"I'm sorry," John said in a quiet voice.

"Don't be." Rodney tugged his hands free. "Yes, you should go. Take the movie with you; you can watch the rest of it some other time." He stabbed at the keyboard and halted the program. Ejecting the disk, he turned to hand it to John, resisting the urge to throw it at him. Then he stopped.

John was removing his pants.

And boxers.

And socks.

When Rodney kept on staring, not saying anything, John gave a self-conscious shrug. "You said you wanted to see me naked," he said in a small voice.

"Oh." It was all Rodney could manage to say. John was beautifully naked, all pale skin and dark hair. His hands were braced on the mattress, one leg pulled up, cock half-hard against his thigh and his entire body was one big question mark. "You're giving me whiplash, you know that?" Rodney told him.

"I'm not very good at this, am I?" John asked.

"No, you're not, but it's not like I'm an expert in relationships, either."

A tiny surprise of a smile played on John's lips. "I thought you were doing pretty good."

"Really?" Rodney was taken aback. Maybe he was good at it, compared to John. And that was pretty damn scary, wasn't it? He touched John's knee, then slid his hand down a hard, bony shin. Despite everything they had done together already, it was a little unreal to have John naked in his bed, apparently willing and ready. Rodney's own cock hardened as he slid his hand up onto John's thigh. "Just tell you're not going to bolt out the door, okay?" Rodney asked. "Because that would be really irritating."

"Rodney, I'm naked."

Nodding, Rodney said, "Yes, you really are. It's a look that works for you. Really." He rubbed his hands over the warm skin of John's stomach, then down over his ribcage, watching in fascination as John's hips moved and his cock twitched and thickened. So much to touch and Rodney couldn't even begin to pretend he wasn't amazed when he stroked up over John's chest and John's entire body moved, rippling under his hands. "Oh, wow."

John touched Rodney's face, and after a moment's hesitation, kissed him. It was like his earlier kiss, during the movie--slow and gentle, maybe even a little uncertain. Rodney curled a hand around the back of John's neck and drew him in closer.

John's hands went underneath Rodney's shirt, and then he awkwardly tried to pull it off. "Can you take this off?" John asked, strangely polite.

"Well, yes." Rodney pulled back and slipped his shirt off. When he reached in for another kiss, John tugged at the waistband of his pants.

"These, too."

"Okay, hold on," Rodney said, keeping his voice low and gentle although he wasn't quite sure why. Climbing off the bed, he stood and stripped off his clothes, aware of John's eyes on him. It made him self-conscious, which was stupid--he'd had his dick in John's mouth, for god's sake but this was different.

When Rodney crawled back onto the bed John's hands went to his shoulders. "This is good," John said, squeezing. "There's something to this 'naked' thing, huh?"

"You think so?" Rodney pulled John into a hug, their knees bumping together and then he eased John down and stretched out over him, a shock of warm skin on skin. John gave a little laugh and pushed up with his hips before grabbing Rodney's head and kissing him. It was a wet, lush kiss that took his breath away. John's mouth was a wonderful thing. As was his body, warm and moving restlessly beneath him. Rodney reached down and grabbed John's ass, holding tight, pushing his own cock into John's hip. He had John right where he wanted him. John wasn't going anywhere. Maybe even ever. He was going to keep John right there in his bed, moving and squirming underneath him, prickly hair crushed against his chest, mouth open and yielding, cock poking insistently against his stomach.

John's hands began to clutch instead of stroke. When he gasped and turned his head to the side Rodney went for the neck and whoa, judging from the noise, John really liked that.

"Rodney," John finally said in a desperate whisper.

"Yeah?"

John spread his legs, dug his feet in and pushed up. "How do you want to do it?"

Rodney licked the hollow of John's throat. "Do what?"

"Fly the jumper." John slapped his ass. "What do you think?"

Rodney laughed against John's skin and suddenly everything fell into place--this was real, this was who they were, whether they were naked together or suited up and on a mission.

"I don't want to fly a jumper," Rodney said. He pulled his legs up and straddled John's hips, his cock jutting out over John's belly. "I want you to fuck me."

"You do?"

Enjoying the look on John's face, Rodney leaned back, rubbing himself on John's cock. All at once he was starving for it, the sensation of being spread wide and penetrated. "Yes, yes, yes. We'll do it like this, okay?"

"Anything you want. Anything." John voice was breathless and low. "You do have lube, right?"

"Yeah, I have it." Rodney kissed him, and fumbled for the drawer. "Right here." He uncapped it, then he noticed John had his own hand out.

"Give me some."

"Oh." Rodney poured it over John's fingers. John sat up, wrapping his arms around Rodney's waist. Slick fingers slid down the cleft of Rodney's ass. "Oh," he repeated, holding onto John's shoulders. He sighed happily when John slipped a finger inside.

"Is that good?" John asked.

"Uh huh." Rodney closed his eyes and rubbed his cock against John's stomach. "Do another one."

John worked another finger in.

"Even better," Rodney said with a gasp. He opened his eyes to see John grinning up at him, eyes shining. It made him feel stupidly sappy so he kissed John before he accidentally said something stupid and sappy.

John made a happy sound and pushed his fingers in further, and that was enough, Rodney was ready, his balls heavy and aching between his legs, his cock full and stiff, leaking against John's stomach. "Okay, okay, ready."

"Are you sure, now?" John twisted his fingers, creating all kinds of devastating sensations.

Rodney shuddered and held on tight. "More ready than I've ever been in my entire life."

Chuckling, John pulled his fingers free. Rodney sat back and watched hungrily as John lubricated his cock. John looked hot with his hand on his own cock--long fingers sliding over his shaft--pretty, very, very pretty and Rodney wanted it. Right now.

He pushed John's hand away and positioned himself over John's cock, pushing the head against his opening, holding it steady--a little time for adjustment even though he didn't want to wait, no, no more waiting--and then all he had to do was relax and let it slide inside of him.

"Oh, god." John grabbed Rodney's thighs, fingers digging in.

"Oh yeah," Rodney agreed, panting. "This so good." Filled up and stretched tight--he had needed it so badly. He rocked his hips, gently at first, getting used to the sensation of having a long hard cock moving inside of his ass.

"A little too good," John warned. "I'm not going to last."

Rodney bent down and licked the sweat from John's sideburns. "I don't care."

John moaned. Rodney kissed him and then sat back, planted his hands on John's chest and started to fuck himself. Hard. Every push of his ass shoved John's cock in deep, creating sparks of pleasure that he felt straight through to his cock. He stared down, watching John twisting and grimacing beneath him, so beautiful--beautiful eyes, beautiful lips, that neck, that beautiful cock--

"Rodney, I'm, uh, oh," John's eyes squeezed shut, and then his cock pulsed inside Rodney, once, twice, and his entire body shook and it was all Rodney needed to see. He jerked himself off, hand whipping over his cock and yes, yes, yes, so good--right there--

He let himself go, coming hard, squeezing John's cock in his ass, so good all over.

When it faded, he was deliciously wrung out. Eyes closed, he hung his head, panting for breath. John's cock softened and slid from his body, and he twitched, nerves overly sensitive and yeah, going to be a little sore but oh so worth it. A hand caressed his cheek, but when Rodney opened his eyes again John was eyeing his spattered chest quizzically.

"It looks good on you," Rodney told him. "Really."

John gave him a look, but it was a pretty smug one.

"You liked it," Rodney said, grinning.

"Fucking you?" John tried to look innocent. "Yeah, I did."

Rodney climbed off, reached for his discarded tee-shirt and used it to wipe John's chest. Before he could finish John rolled toward him and hugged him close, arms gripping powerfully. "Okay, I liked it," John whispered.

"So did I," Rodney said. After a moment he added, "I like this, too."

"Oh." John held him tighter. "Me, too. You know, I really like watching movies with you."

Laughing, Rodney tucked his face into John's neck and breathed him in. Sweat and sex. Rodney wanted to lick it off his skin. "Stay here tonight," he said.

John stiffened. "Rodney--"

"You could leave before the early shift starts. No one will see you." Rodney pulled back and eyed John resolutely. "Listen, I have a biosigns monitor. You can check the hallway before you leave."

"What if there's an emergency?"

"They'll radio both of us."

John was quiet for a long moment. He looked torn, but Rodney realized he knew what John's answer was going to be. John had said it earlier. Anything you want, Rodney.

"All right," John said. "I'd like that."

It was exhilarating and a little bit terrifying.

"Good," Rodney said. John looked a little scared himself, so Rodney kissed him. He took his time with it, and when he finished John seemed better, sliding down to rest his head on Rodney's chest, a hand stroking Rodney's stomach.

"How did that movie end, anyway?" John asked.

"They lived happily ever after. In secret, of course."

John's hand stilled. "That must have been kind of tough on them. All that pretending."

"Nah. Not so hard, really." Rodney kissed the top of John's head.

Stargate Atlantis (including all characters and images) is the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended or should be inferred. This is a nonprofit fan site.

The Grrrl's site is maintained by The Grrrl